In an attempt to be poetic.
Bonjour.
I'm Jesh. 18 years old. Currently taking up BS Computer Science at UP Manila.
I love books and music. And food. I have a flair for the dramatic. I write poems and songs. Half-realist, half-hopeless romantic. Caffeine addict. Extroverted introvert. I'm weird like that.

#personal #writings #poems 
#thoughts 
Depression
03 September 2011 | 6:53 PM | 0 letters
September 3, 2011.
Today is the day that I've been afraid of for days. It's a Saturday, and though I love Saturdays, today isn't just another Saturday. It's the Saturday that the records are to be released.
I've known for weeks already that my Analytic Geometry would fail, but actually having to see it in my card is a different story. Not only that, AG wasn't my only problem. All of them were. It was really depressing because this is the first time in my entire life to have only one line of 9 (thanks to HRO) in my card, to have one failing grade, to have an average below 87, and to have two grades of 85. It was really depressing because I was used to having high grades. I was in the top 10  last school year and it's really depressing because this year, I'm not. I got 84 in AG. For some schools, that definitely isn't a failing mark, but since I'm studying in a science school, it is. Ah, sometimes it's really hard to put up with the standards of MaSci, especially when your teachers are very strict; just like my AG teacher.
It really was depressing because this is my last year in high school. I was expecting it to be easy, but as it turned out, it was (in some areas) even harder than third year. I actually blame myself for these grades because I'm been too lazy and relaxed during the last three months. Look where that got me. :(
Anyway, my father talked to me about it. He told me that my grades were high. I don't know if he was just saying that to  make me feel better or if it really is quite high for someone who isn't used to the standards of a science school. I told him that I wouldn't be able to get any medals anymore since I already had a grade below 85. He told me that I shouldn't be after a medal because it's just a piece of metal. And besides, I already have tons of medals lying around at home. He also told me that there are a lot of people out there who are really good in school but are not good in handling real-life situations.
  "Hindi naman directly proportional ang performance mo sa school sa performance mo sa tunay na buhay (Your performance in school is not directly proportional to your performance in real life)."
He also said that a lot of people excelled in school but are not really happy with their lives. He said that what matters is that you're happy. Besides, I still have the 2nd-4th quarter. There's even college after that.
After that talk, I felt a lot better. I realized that I should be thankful because my grades aren't really that low. Catching up in AG will be easier since I only failed one point. I guess I'll just have to work harder this quarter. I already asked God for help so I'm sure that I'll be able to make up for my grades this quarter.
I'd like to share this quote I heard on the radio a while ago,
"Do your best and God will do the rest."
Oh, I definitely will. :)

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