Twist and Turns Of Fate
Here's what I'm gonna share on Monday:
My parents separated when I was nine
years old. Since then, my father stayed in his parents' house in
Paranaque while me and my sister stayed in our mother's house in Los
Banos, Laguna. It was hard for all of us. It brought many challenges.
But the biggest challenge I encountered happened when my father told
us that after I graduate from elementary, he'll be taking me and my
sister. I didn't like the idea at all. I liked my mom better, and
besides, my life in Los Banos was wonderful. Still, my father
encouraged me to take MaSci's entrance exam. Knowing I could do
nothing about it, I took the test.
My test date was on January 12, 2008.
While walking towards MaSci, I was mesmerized by its elegance. I
don't know what I saw in MaSci, but I immediately wanted to study
there. I even prayed to God to help me pass the test.
That phase passed, though. When I went
back to Los Banos, I once again hated the idea of studying in Manila.
Everyone encouraged me to take the test in UP Rural High School, the
best high school in Los Banos. My father asked me, “Bakit ka kukuha
ng test eh sa Manila ka naman magaaral?” I know that he knew I
wanted to stay in Los Banos. But he still forced me to study in
Manila. Often times, I cried. Each time we met, he would bring up the
topic. It made me depressed. I didn't want to study in Manila. One
day, my father texted me. I passed the test.
I had my mother, my relatives, and my
friends on my side. After passing the UPRHS test, they encouraged me
to study there. My mother even made plans of hiding my report card
from my father. Unfortunately, it didn't work. We couldn't convince
my father to let me study in Los Banos. His line was always “ako
nagpapaaral sayo kaya ako bahala kung saan ka magaaral.” It was no
use. He dismissed every explanation. I could do nothing about it. In
less than two months, I would be studying in Manila. It was the worst
thing that happened to me.
Often times, I cried for hours. But I
knew that sooner or later I had to face it. So begins my adventure in
Manila.
It was in these times that I lived by
Chris Daughtry's song Home. Remember the line “Be careful what you
wish for cause you just might get it all, and then some you don't
want”?
Living in Manila was a huge change for
me. I no longer lived with my mother, the environment was very far
from that of Los Banos, my father felt more of a dictator, I was
going to a new school, and I had no friends. I was very thankful,
though, because my friends from elementary still texted me and gave
me words of encouragement.
My first day in MaSci wasn't really
disastrous. In fact, I enjoyed it. Perhaps I was even a bit excited.
I thought that being in this new strange high-standard school wasn't
bad after all. But then our last subject came. I don't know what
happened but suddenly all the sadness downed on me. Suddenly I
remembered that I didn't want to be here. I cried.
For days, weeks, even months, my
crying continued. My first year classmates know about that. I always
cried. Especially during the first days of school. I couldn't help
it. I missed my mom, I missed my friends, I missed my home. Until
now, I refuse to call our house in Paranaque a home. For me, it was
just a house, a structure that contained me. In certain times, it was
more like a prison. Home was far away.
Eventually, I gained friends. I had
best friends, too. They were always there for me. I've heard that
some of our batch mates ridiculed our section because we were too
close. But I thank God for making us like that. I guess it's the very
reason why I was put in that section. Almost everyone in that section
was approachable. They made the new experience somewhat easier for
me. They were there to support me. I was lucky to have my best
friends wipe away my tears. Back then, I was not much of a strong
person. But that experience made me one.
During my 1st and 2nd
year here in MaSci, I begged my mother to take me back. There were
lots of opportunities. My mother always searched for them, but
somehow, they never worked out. I began to accept the idea that I was
going to finish high school in Manila. I couldn't wait for
graduation. My classmates would sometimes mock me for being depressed
all the time. I can't blame them. They don't know what I've been
going through.
Eventually, I learned to love MaSci. I
learned to become proud of my school. I learned to stop comparing
MaSci with my school back then. I learned to answer “Manila Science
High School” without any hint of sadness or bitterness whenever
someone asked me where I went to school. Finally, my eyes began to
see the beauty of MaSci. I began to see the advantages of being a
MaScian. I began to have reasons why I should continue studying in
MaSci. Before, I only had two reasons to go to school – to see my
friends and to stay away from my father.
Third year was the big turning point
in my life. It was in that year that I began to truly value my
friends. It was in that year that I became very thankful of their
presence. It was in that year that I began studying harder than
usual. It was in that year that I began to embrace Manila Science
High School. It was in that year that I became open to the
possibility of staying here in Manila until college.
As of now, I really want to stay here
in Manila until college. I have grown to love the people around me. I
have grown to adapt to the fast-paced living in Manila. Yet there's a
big but. My mother wants to take me back next year. Why am I not
happy? Isn't this what I wished for? To go back to Los Banos after
graduation? Yes, it was. Not anymore.
In about 4 months, we'll be
graduating. Where I'll be studying after I graduate, I don't know. I
guess it's up to fate again.
Once again I can hear the lyrics of
the song. Be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it
all, and then some you don't want.
Well, I guess I don't want to go back
anymore.
I would often rant “kung kailan ko
natutunang mahalin yung MaSci, saka pa ko malapit na grumaduate.” I
learned to appreciate MaSci a little too late. But I guess it's
better late than never, right?
Because of this experience, I've
learned a lesson. I learned that you should always accept change
wholeheartedly. You should not wish to change the state in which
you're in because you never know what that change might bring you.
You should learned to submit to what God has for you. For years I
have resented studying here, it was a little late when I realized why
I'm here.
And I'm happy to be here. If I didn't
study here, then I wouldn't have met you. This is a big world, that
was a small town. From now on, I won't be afraid of changes. I'll
just remind myself of this experience and everything will be alright.
Personally, I would like to thank all
of you. All of you played a part in my story. You all have your own
contributions to this experience. To all my friends, thank you. I
wouldn't have reached this far if it weren't for you. This experience
will continue, but my sharing has to end.
Thank you for listening.
Labels: essays, personal, school, thoughts
