In an attempt to be poetic.
Bonjour.
I'm Jesh. 18 years old. Currently taking up BS Computer Science at UP Manila.
I love books and music. And food. I have a flair for the dramatic. I write poems and songs. Half-realist, half-hopeless romantic. Caffeine addict. Extroverted introvert. I'm weird like that.

#personal #writings #poems 
#thoughts 
Jacob Clem Ybanez
15 November 2011 | 9:16 PM | 0 letters
One of my favorite photos. :))

I realized that even though I post a lot about this guy, I haven't really said much about him.
His name is Jacob Clem (Lapus?) Ybanez. Yup, that's how I like to write down his full name (since I really don't know if I should put the Lapus or not). He's 15, turning 16 this December. And, I love him. :">

First year.

Freshmen's Night

I got to know him because he was my classmate during 1st year. I don't really remember how we became friends or how I learned about his name, but I do remember that we usually had conflicts. I don't remember any first impressions. I feel like I've known him since my day one in high school (which is most likely true).
He was nice and we had a lot of common friends. He was very hot-headed, though. I like to tease people (but not too much). And often times, he takes my teasing seriously (which is probably why we weren't very close back then, haha). We weren't that close, but we were friends. We often went to his house since he lived very near our school. I'm the type of person who easily knows if I'm gonna get along well with a person or not. When it comes to Jacob, I never felt awkward or anything. He's very fun to talk to, and he isn't like those other guys who know nothing but to shy away from girls, or those guys who make the most out of life by making fun of girls. We were in first year, and those things were still rampant since we still got our own hangovers from elementary. Thankfully, he wasn't like that.
The last day of classes was a sad day for all of us. It was our last day together as a section. It was also the day when we learned about our sections. As fate had decided upon us, Jacob and I were classmates (again). In fact, he was the only boy from our section whom I became classmates again the next year.

Second year.

Sophomore's Bash.

Second year was the year where we became close. Again, I don't know how it happened. It just did. :))
He was one of the few people in our section who I knew already so I usually sat beside him. When I'm bored in class, I tend to talk to whoever my seatmate is, and that's what I usually do when I'm seated next to him. Is that how we became close? :))
Jacob, on the other hand, was still a bit hot-headed back then. Since I loved to pick on him, we usually ended up ignoring each other and making up the following day. It didn't in any way damage our friendship though. We still talked a lot (and made fun of our teachers.)
It was also in this year that a lot of our classmates and friends began to tease us. I remember one classmate saying "bagay kayo." after I pushed him while walking to our next class. My initial reaction was always "ew." That reaction remained for quite some time.
How can I forget? It's also in this year that we became very very close friends. Best friends. :)) We pretty much stood up for each other (though we'd really never admit it to anyone.) We were very close, but we weren't in that stage where two people fall in love. Not yet.
I must admit that second year wasn't really the best school year for me. I had a lot of problems during this year and he never failed to help me. He's the most patient person I know when it comes to my breakdowns. He'd sit next to me all afternoon even if I'm not talking to him. I was pretty suicidal during this year and there was this one time when he hid the cap of my pen because I was using it to cut my wrist. I never got the cap back. Haha.
There were a lot of times when I'd look at him and think "God, he's really good looking." but that's all there ever was to it. We were friends, that's all. Then came third year. :)

Third year.
Prom. :">

We were no longer classmates during this year. At first, I really didn't mind, but then I started to miss him. I guess I really got used to talking to him a lot that when I started missing him when it came to an abrupt stop. The teasing grew worse, too. Now, (almost) everyone was teasing us. Even my classmates teased me whenever he was around. For months, I ignored their teasing. But I eventually realized that those teases were no longer jokes, they were facts. I never admitted it, though.
One Friday, one of my guy friends told me that Jacob admitted that he had a crush on me. I didn’t want to believe it at first since we promised each other that we’d never like each other. Silly, I know. But he kept insisting that what he was saying was true. I didn’t mind at all. It wasn’t awkward or anything. Besides, it was just a crush. But learning about that got me in the “kilala ko crush mo” mood. I kept on telling him that I already knew who his crush was, but I didn’t tell him who. When he pressed for the answer, I told him another girl’s name. A girl that he wouldn’t like in a million years. Diba? :))
The next day, we met since I left something at his house. We were at McDonald's when he admitted that I was his crush. Typing this feels really weird. -_- :)) I kept on asking him "Sino ba kasi yung crush  mo?" since he never told me about it. He eventually said "Ikaw." but it hard to believe since he was laughing. Both of us were laughing then. He even wrote it on the receipt. I never told him, but I was already convinced. But I pretended not to be. LOL =))
After that day, we didn't talk about it again. After a few months, I asked him again who his crush was. This time, he'd say "Wala." Though I didn't have any serious feelings for him, I still felt a bit hurt. It even came to the part when I really believed that I was no longer his crush. It wasn't such a big deal since I had a relationship with someone else back then. But still-.
Prom was only a few months away and there was this rumor that those who wouldn't find promdates would be matched with other people who didn't have promdates. I shared this rumor with him and (the story's kinda long so I won't tell it in full detail) eventually, we became each other's dates. I was pretty excited about the idea, but of course, I never showed it.
It was a few weeks before prom when I realized that my "feelings" for him was taking on a whole new level. Things between me and the person I had a relationship back then were kinda rough, so it kind of made it easier to fall for him. Each time I saw him, my heart would literally ache. I often thought that I missed the opportunity. Since I believed that he wasn't liking anyone at the moment, I thought that I had lost my chance with him. I thought too soon. :)
Prom came.
I was a bit nervous that day that I couldn't even eat right. It's kind of silly when I think about it now. But back then I was really head over heels for him and I had no idea on how I should handle it. Prom has a very long story so I'll jump to the exciting part.
My feet ached from dancing so I decided to sit down. When he saw me, he sat next to me. I told him that my feet were aching and he advised me to take my heels off. I asked, "San ko lalagay?" and he motioned his hand towards me. My feet were really aching so I took them off and handed it to him. We were still sitting there when he told me that he was going to get water. He asked me if I wanted water, too and I said yes. The water had ice in it which made me cold. I told him I was cold and I ended up wearing his coat. I was pretty bored since everyone was dancing and we were just sitting there (thanks to my feet), so I picked on him again. I kept saying "Magkwento ka." but he said that there was not much going on in his life and he didn't know what to share with me. I kept pinching his arm and each time, he's take my hand off his arm and put it on my lap. This went on for quite awhile. Then suddenly, to my surprise, instead of putting my hand on my lap, he just held it. For a moment, I was dumbstruck. Should I say lovestruck? Is that a better term? It seems so cheesy. Dumbstruck. HAHA. We stayed like that for a while, just sitting there and holding hands. For the first time that night, both of us were silent. I don't know about him, but my heart was jumping up and down. :))
They started playing slow music again so we started to dance, since my feet didn't hurt as much as it did. We were dancing when he asked  "Gusto mo magkwento ako?" and I excitedly said "Oo." For a long time, all he said was "May..." I was amused by this but I was running out of patience so I said "May ano? May kulangot ka sa ilong?" He laughed and said "May crush ako sayo." I couldn't look at him properly so I leaned my head against his. I was very confused since that time, I really didn't know if I should end my relationship with him  and here was Jacob telling me that he likes me. And I liked him, too. I said "Naguguluhan ako." He asked me why and I told him that he already knew the answer. He told me that he didn't want to assume. I told him that he wasn't.
I'll leave the cheesy details to my oh so vivid memory of that night. We danced the night away (yeah right, they only played two songs) but it (almost) felt like forever to me.
The night ended and I didn't tell him that I liked him back. I didn't have to, he already knew. :)

What next?



The rest is history. Nah, just kidding. I’ve been typing for quite a long time now and I am getting tired. :)) A brief summary.
I decided that I should just end my relationship with him since we were no longer happy (it really wasn’t working out anymore) and if I was going to continue this thing with Jacob, I’d rather not be a two-timer.
Jacob is still, and always be my best friend. But somehow, we’ve been more than that. It’s been 9 months and 3 days since prom happened, and we’re still together. We’re eenot in any official bf/gf relationship, but we’re happy.
I don’t know how long this will last, but I’m gonna make the most out of it.

I once said that I wasn’t in the mood to talk about my love life. I am now. :)

Jacob, hi. HAHA. I love you. >:D< :* Thank you sa lahat. I miss you. See you tomorrow. :”> Tara, text na. HAHAHA =))

  

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