Who Am I?
You might be thinking that this entry is about me finding myself but no, it's not. It's actually a title of a song by Casting Crowns.
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You're
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours
The lyrics is moving if you know what I mean. Especially the first three lines. I've been having doubts about my faith lately. I've been questioning why I need to follow God.
Why can't I just live my own life? Then I heard this song. I really don't know how to explain the feeling but somehow I felt enlightened. I realized that I had no right to be asking such questions. I should even be grateful. I'm merely a speck in His big universe and yet He knows every detail of my life. If I were a god, I probably wouldn't have cared. Which is why I'm not a god. But the God up there is. If there's anyone who has the right to complain, it's Him. He created me and blessed me in so many ways yet here I am doubting Him. I'm sorry, Jesus.
I was raised a Christian. All my life I've known the Christian ways of living. I know what verses to memorize, I've read the whole Bible, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Yet look at me now. It's as if I've forgotten all about this things.
I want to repent. I want to experience the same things I experienced when God and I still talked on a daily basis. I want to revive the days when I prayed not because I was in trouble, going to bed, or problematic, but because I simply wanted to talk to Him. I miss the feeling. I miss the joy I felt - the joy that only God can bring. I miss going to church every Sunday. I miss singing my lungs out and clapping until my hands are itching during worshiping session. I miss listening to the pastor preach. I miss the indescribable emotion that fills my body after every service.
Cast your burdens upon me, those who are heavenly laiden
Come to me all of you who are tired of carrying heavy loads
For the yoke I will give you is easy and my burden is light
Come to me and I will give you rest
Another verse from another song. I will
come to Him, and He will give me rest.
I've experienced it before and I'm about to experience it again. Amen.
Happy Sunday, everyone!
Labels: diary, lyrics, personal