I have become afraid of that word. I was browsing tumblr blogs when I came across a blog if an anorexic. There were all sorts of posts like what it feels like and what it looks like and god, it was horrible. I was looking at her self-photos and she was just so thin. Her BMI was 14.0. The lowest I had was a 16.9 (which is abnormal because it's supposed to be 18+), thankfully, my BMI has now become higher (it's now 20.4, and I hate it. I feel like I've become a very fat person already.) Okay, so I'm not that fat. I gained 4kg and it's not that much but I feel like crying every time I try to wear something that doesn't fit me anymore. I'm not anorexic. I might have been before but I'm definitely not anorexic now. Somehow, I love my body. Though I would like it if I got my previous BMI back. It's not that low, right? I love my body in a sense that I know I'm healthy. I may not be as thin as those VS models but I'm definitely still in shape. I'd still love to lose weight, though. Anyway, I consider myself a lucky person because I now eat regularly and I didn't end up looking like a skeleton. difhwihvoiwrv whut

Labels: diary, personal, summer12, thoughts