I wrote a song.
Today, at around 3:50am, I decided that I wanted to make a song. Well, it's supposed to be a song. It doesn't have a melody yet. But it goes like this:
*
How long does it take to be alright?
(Cause you know I'm all alone tonight)
How long does it take for the sun to shine?
(If only I could call you mine)
How long does it take till I call you mine again?
(So please don't let this be the end)
Crumpled up letters fill my room
All over the floor
I wrote in gloom
Bloodshot eyes stare back at me
Oh darling if you could only see
How much you mean to me
And I know you said you aren't coming back
But I can't see this spark is burning out
No at least not yet
So maybe you can tell me
*
And I write these words with my shaky hands
Not sure if this is a poem
Cause I can't think of a melody yet
My life has been so empty since you left
Yeah I know that you probably won't care
But at this point I'm no longer scared
I'm used to this pain so it's okay
I've felt this way since the very first day
*
Again
Yeah I know I can't pretend
You're no longer mine
And I just wish that you'd be mine
Mine again
*
You know I'd still be true
(You know it's true)
And you know it's always been you
(You know it's you)
And you know I love you, tooLabels: lyrics, personal, poems, songs, thoughts
Because.
I was feeling down so I turned to you
Thinking maybe you've got a clue
You held me close and wiped my tears
And said you'd take away my fears
You're always there, it seemed to me
And because of that, I was happy
You always kissed my tears away
Yes, you made everything okay
But one day, I guess you've had enough
Your words stung, your hand felt rough
You said the world doesn't revolve around me
And that others were hurting, not just me
And so I learned my lesson that day
That you really never should give your trust away
Because I was feeling down and I turned to you
But about my life, you never really got a clue
I found this poem in my journal. I wrote this almost a year ago. The date says August 8, 2012. Maybe I never really did learn my lesson that day. Or maybe history just has its way of repeating itself. But this time, I really will learn from my lesson.
Labels: college life, diary, literature, personal, poems, thoughts, writings
Nothing But Pain
I've never quite understood
Why I never get to say
What I wish I could
Each and everyday
I guess I'll never know why
I can't tell you when I want you to hold me
Or what to do when emotions are high
Or to say what I want you to remind me
Tell me again why these words come in verses
In stanzas and lyrics
Never in sentences
But always in lyrics
Is it because I fear how you'd react?
Maybe it's my pride, or fear of rejection
Why is it that when I speak, you act like that?
Or is it just another premonition?
I've learned to keep quiet perhaps because
I'm afraid that you might end it
When I don't even know the cause
I'm tired of begging "please don't end it"
No tears fall, so you don't notice
But my heart is crying inside
Fear of what might become of this
The emptiness I feel I try to hide
I'm scared of the future, I'm scared of you
I don't know how to tell you about this
I'm tired and broken, but I love you
Please don't end this
Your affection and time
I always look for
Trying to make them mine
But I guess I'm not worth more
You said you'd make it up to me
And I believed you, yes
You said you'd do that for me
I don't want to guess
But you didn't know how to
How do I explain?
When words come down to
Nothing but pain
Labels: literature, personal, poems, writings
Wonder
I wonder if you ever think that you're the luckiest
Or that maybe you have the best
If you ever look at me and think "she's the one"
Without any second thought done
I wonder if your heart beats rapidly
With each step you take closer to me
If you catch your breath when I smile
If for me you'd go that extra mile
Or do you think of me as just another person
Not the person who would have you hold on
Am I just another friend?
Not the one you would want to love till the end?
Maybe you are just another of my fantasies
Growing wilder with your stories
I wonder if you know that I am the luckiest
Or if you know that with you, I have the best
Labels: literature, personal, poems, writings
My Superhero
Last night I had a dream
I saw the man I was to love forever
He was tall, his skin was cream
And he was very, very clever
He let me ride on his back while we traveled
His knees surrounded by clouds as we ran
The people who could see us from below marveled
Thinking “we can’t do that, but that man can”
I laughed because I knew that he was more than a man
He wasn’t human, but he wasn’t a bird or a plane either
He told me that he once carried a loaded van
I thought he was perhaps insane
He then took me to what he called his hometown
It was a quiet place called Smallville
He then decided to put me down
As a raging fire, he tried to kill
I asked him, what’s it like to be you?
He smiled at me, but he looked away
What is he feeling? I want a clue
He said it was hard yet fulfilling, that’s all he would say
I said you’re everybody’s superhero, mine, too
He said he didn’t choose this, he never wanted this
That’s when I heard the alarm, the cuckoo
With that, he leaned in with a lingering kiss
I knew he loved his job, I knew why he hates it
When the sun goes down, when the stars shine
In my dreams, the only time we can meet
We both know that he can never be mine
I walked the earth, he flew the skies
I saw a human being, he was superhuman
I knew that each time I dream, my heart lies
For who could ever love Superman?
I guess only a few people can guess why I wrote this. Well, I really am in love with "Superman." But not in the way I retell it in this poem.
Labels: literature, personal, poems, writings
Moving On
Moving on takes great courage
Especially for someone my age
When all I wanted is to be set free
When love has got the best of me
I had to leave, of that I was sure
Because what was to come, I could not endure
Day by day, things got worse
The magic gift, turned into a curse
I tried to explain why I had to leave
But all my reasons, he would not believe
I cried and begged him to understand
But he dismissed me with a wave of his hand
I was crushed; my heart was torn and broken
My eyes hurt, red and swollen
Things were not getting any better
The better days, I tried to remember
Things were getting way out of hand
I fell each time I tried to stand
It hurt more because you were never there
Even when I searched for you everywhere
Somehow, you were nowhere to be found
And on your front door, I tried to pound
I wanted to leave you, yes, it’s true
But my love for you was too great to undo
I found someone else after sometime
I then realized that if we were words, we would rhyme
Because our harmony was off the beat
And when we danced, we twisted our feet
You then begged me to stay, but I had to go
For I was already starting to love him so
For in your eyes, I could only see harm
And your lips, they were never again warm
It will be better, that you promised me
Like a prophecy, that’s what happened to be
At first you wouldn’t let me, but I did
Beneath his love, that’s where I hid
Eventually I left you with tears in each eye
For I knew I’d eventually have to say goodbue
I’m happy now, the pain is gone
But I guess I never really did move on
Did I? :(
Labels: literature, personal, poems, writings
It's Not Over Yet
I tried to call but you wouldn’t answer the phone
I just sad in bed, tired and alone
Tears streamed down my cheek as I turned off the light
As I remembered what you said last night
You said it’s time for us to let go
How could that be when I still needed you so?
It’s not over, that’s what I’m trying to say
But without looking back, you walked away
Another chance, that’s what I ask for
You said it’s stupid because I’ve said this before
I’ll change, I promised you I will
But our relationship, you’d rather kill
I told you it’s not over yet
But I guess your mind was already set
I told you to just let it out
But you wouldn’t even shout
I won’t give up on you, you’re everything
Let life bring what it’ll bring
But I’m telling you this isn’t over
No, not yet, it’s not yet over
Inspired by It's Not Over by Daughtry. Inspired by what happened two nights ago.
Labels: literature, personal, poems, writings
For Daddy
I know it’s too late
That by now, it’s all up to fate
But I should’ve said this before I left
All this words that I’ve kept
I’m not perfect, and I won’t ever be
I’m sorry if I never was what you expected of me
I just want to make you proud
So please don’t shout too loud
I know we’ve been through a lot
All those times we’ve left to rot
Maybe we were wrong
Maybe we’ve fought for too long
You’ll always be my hero, though
It’s just something I want you to know
Sorry for being too emotional
When we were both to irrational
It hurts when you disapprove all along
But this has been going on way too long
I guess I should finally speak out
I hope this won’t make you shout
Will I ever be good enough for you?
Have I done all the things you wanted me to do?
Right now, I guess we’re both back on track
But to those times, we can never go back
I guess nothing’s going to make this right
I just wanted to say this without another fight
I hope someday we’ll work this out
And that someday, you won’t ever have to shout
Inspired by Simple Plan's song, Perfect. Inspired by my own experiences.
Labels: literature, personal, poems, writings
Living Memory
I see a girl in the mirror
A girl filled with horror
She was pale as the moonlight
She was pretty, but it was a terrible sight
Her eyes were wet and swollen
As she wiped the tears that have fallen
Her long black hair was a mess
And her hands clung to her blood-stained dress
Who is she? Of course it’s me
There she was, longing to be set free
But invisible chains bound her
As she sang lullabies over and over
There were bites all over her skin
As I let the truth sink in
That what is was seeing was not what I looked outside
The realization frightened me terribly
For outside I was happy and bubbly
The people around have loved me for it
But then why is the mirror showing the opposite?
I thought back and thought maybe
The past had this effect on me
Though the bleedings have gone away
The hideous scars are here to stay
Then suddenly, her hand reached out
She started screaming “Let me out!”
I could see desperation in her eyes
I covered my ears to drown out her cries
But the harder I pressed, the louder the sound
I could feel my heart desperately pound
A wanted to run, run away
But something was compelling me to stay
I closed my eyes, but I could still see her
I screamed as she got nearer and nearer
I tried to run, but how do you run from yourself?
By doing that, I’d abandon myself
Flashbacks rushed in and out of my head
As she fiercely bit me; on my skin she fed
For years I’ve been running, now it has caught up with me
For the past has always been a living memory
Labels: literature, poems, writings
Auer
I thought you were my friend
Best friends until the end
We were the closest of friends
But the road had a lot of bends
Somehow something changed in you
Or was it me instead of you?
Slowly, you turned into a monster
Slowly, slowly, then faster
Suddenly, you became a liar
Someone I knew only from afar
A traitor, a selfless being
A new individual, slowly fading
But I’m not the only one
Many have noticed what you’ve done
Through the years, you’ve changed so much
By and by, such and such
Your friends, you say, let go of your hand
I guess by now I understand
One by one, you let us fade away
You let us go without asking us to stay
We pass each other, but we ignore
Our friendship? Ah, I guess no more
For you cannot be trusted, promises you break
You never realize what’s at stake
Hurt and relieved, that’s how I feel
As all our connections, we both kill
Looking back, well, it’s not at all sad
Why, you’re just a best friend I once had
Labels: literature, personal, poems, writings
What Made Me Fall In Love With You
The way you scowl when you’re mad
The tears you shed when you’re sad
The way you smell after playing
The way you can’t explain what you’re saying
The way you turn your back at me when we fight
The way you stress when things aren’t right
The way you slump your back against the seat
The way you gobble, chomp, and eat
The way you steal glances form afar
The way you say it’s just the way you are
The way you look up to conceal that double chin
The way I can easily tell what mood you’re in
The way you tell me you’re imperfect
The way you look oh, so perfect
The way you smile and hold me close
The way you gave me that fragrant white rose
You may think that you’re worthless
That all your efforts are useless
I may stay mad at you for oh so long
But, hey, you’re definitely wrong
Those things, yes, that’s who you are
Every mole and every scar
No one else is like you
If I were to choose, I’d still pick you
Because behind those flaws and imperfections
Is someone I’ve come to love with no conditions
The person who’s been there all along
The reason why I’ve stayed so strong
Every tear I shed, you wiped away
Because of that, I’m here to stay
Don’t ever think that I hate you
Did you know that I’d love to marry you?
I may say hurtful words, but they’re never true
Truth is, I’m always here for you
Never think that there’s something you lack
You know I’ve always got your back
All those things, well, that’s you
That’s what made me fall in love with you
Wipe your tears and forget about the rest
Because for me, you’ll always be the best
Labels: literature, personal, poems, writings
The Moon
The moon, light and pale
Listens to that little wail
Up above, suspended in the air
He’s there, watching you from up there
He sees the stars that stream down your cheek
He knows the answers you try to seek
He sees everything, you cannot hide
He’s always there, just by your side
The city’s a perfect view from where he is
He sees every laughter, every kiss
He sees death, he knows it’s soon
He knows. After all, he’s the moon
Labels: literature, poems, writings
Those Nights
Those nights when you can’t fall asleep
Those nights when you count endless sheep
When you think no one can hear
When all that’s there is fear
When your heart cries but no tears fall
When under the pillows you gently crawl
Those nights when you want to cry your heart out
Those nights when all you want to do is shout
Those nights when you stab the air
Those nights when you pull out your hair
When all that hears you is nothingness
When your life is nothing but a mess
When death watches you from across the street
When blankets no longer cover your cold feet
Those nights that make you wish you were dead
Those nights; there’s more ahead
Labels: literature, poems, writings
A Call That Will Never Come
Waiting for a call that will never come
Enough to make my day very lonesome
Staring at the phone, knowing it’ll never ring
Innocently hoping for happiness it might bring
Twenty to two in the morning, I’m still awake
Not knowing how long this will take
Deep inside, I know you won’t call
That I was just being a fool after all
My heart aches and my eyes are tired
My patience, will it be admired?
Just one ring, please make it happen
And bring back what I’ve forgotten
You’ll say sorry and I’ll have to forgive
I don’t have a choice, that’s how I live
I’ll just forget how much it hurt me
Just pretend that I simply wasn’t sleepy
Yes, I exaggerate too much.
Labels: literature, personal, poems, thoughts, writings
Starry
It won’t be long before we kiss the moonlight
Not long before we take a flight
Not long before the journey to forever
Not long before we face life together
You took my hand and promised me
Tonight, we will be set free
I’ll wear a white dress and we’ll marry
Underneath the sky, very very starry
Sealed with a kiss, that’s how it will be
Out of town, that’s where we’ll flee
Run away and never look back
Our feet won’t even leave a track
Darling, finally it will be
I am yours, you’re for me
Yes, yes, that’s how we’ll marry
Underneath the sky, very very starry
Labels: literature, poems, writings
Two Hearts
Two hearts have been captivated
Once with love, now they’re jaded
Two lovers that were torn apart
Two lovers now oceans apart
Trying hard to fight for what they had
Happiness, nothing but a façade
As the two of them yearn to be together
Together until forever
Love letters, they still wrote each other
But one word lost with every other
Eyes that teared until they dried
Their empty hearts they try to hide
But what happens when he meets someone new?
When she’s no longer the girl he once knew?
Trust, so strong yet so frail
A test they desperately don’t want to fail
But in their hearts, there is hope
That little spark that enables them to cope
That even when words no longer rhyme
They’ll be able to stand the test of time
That hope is what keeps them strong
Two hearts that have been aching for so long
When will they meet? No one knows
Each day they go where the river flows
But one day their paths will meet again
It doesn’t matter how, it doesn’t matter when
When that day comes they’ll know for sure
It was worth it; everyday they had to endure
That one day is what they wish for every night
When a star falls and takes its flight
That someday, again they’ll be together
Their hearts, eager to wait forever
But if that day never comes, they’ll understand
They’ll just have to deal with what’s at hand
Maybe they were never really meant to be
Maybe we were fools, you and me
But deep inside, I’ll be brave
My dying heart, I’ll try to save
Because if we’ll never be together
Maybe fate will bring something better
Labels: literature, poems, writings
Fifteen Minutes Late
And if I know better, I bet they are many
But I know a person we all love to hate
That person we'd love to come more than fifteen minutes late
He's responsible for our lack of sleep
As our sanity we try to keep
All those paperwork and essays
Will forever haunt our student days
Tons of homework and lessons to study
We try to beat with a cup of coffee
For an hour or so, it'll keep us awake
All for our studies' sake
All of these we have to endure
Because of that someone we all know for sure
But have you ever thought of what would happen
If they left us all of a sudden?
Empty classrooms, empty chairs
No one to greet “mabuhay!” along the stairs
An easy life, but nothing to learn
What would life be if there was no one to teach?
No one to lecture, no one to preach
It would be the life we’ve always wanted!
But wouldn’t that leave us uneducated?
At first, they are all monsters to us
But that’ll change, just let time pass
Inevitably, they’ll always be seen as students’ enemies
But when the time comes, it’s them we’ll miss
Demons, that’s what they are from afar
But do you see them for what they really are?
These creatures who want nothing more
Than to guide us in every field we explore
We may not realize before it’s too late
That the person we’ve come to hate
Will mold us into who we should be
Individual persons, you and me
They are not demons, but angels from above
Teaching us in ways they’ve come to love
Maybe someday you’ll learn to appreciate
Other things aside from when they’re fifteen minutes late
A text post inspired by English class. We were tackling "The Demon Episode" and one of my classmates announced that all teachers are demons. I was then asked to write an article for the Literary Section. This is what I came up with.
For those who do not understand the "fifteen minutes late" thing, our school has this policy that the students are permitted to leave the if the teacher does not arrive within fifteen minutes.
Sana di ako nagpapakaplastic sa mga pinagsasabi ko :))
Labels: literature, poems, school, thoughts, writings
A Happy Poem
I've written a thousand poems for my broken heart
But I never thought of having to start
A poem about happiness
And all the things that gods bless
I sit here as I wait for something
Waiting for anything
Happy so I can write
More than just about fear and fright
But nothing comes to my lonely mind
Happy thoughts, I try to find
But all that's left is you
All I think about is you
But darling, you left me all alone
In a place far away from home
Where even the daylight gives me shivers
And the tears I cried has formed lotsa rivers
So a happy poem, I cannot write
For all I feel is fear and fright
And from these thoughts I cannot part
Because I only write from the heart
Sorry for the misleading title.
Labels: literature, personal, poems, summer, writings
A Half and Three
Should I stay or should I go?
Should I wait or is it a no?
When everything you have is lost
And you'll pay at any cost
After all these years
And all the bitter tears
You're still the one I'm after
I still wanna hear your laughter
Should I stay and try to wait?
And try to hope that fate
Will bring us back together
And that love will stay forever?
Should I go because it's a no
Even if I still love you so?
And forget all about the past
Accept that it was never meant to last
But how can I decide
When I still feel for you inside?
When I love you still
And wait for you I will
I guess I will, I will wait
And just trust in fate
That she may bring you back to me
And there'll be more years than a half and three
Labels: literature, personal, poems, summer, thoughts, writings
A Poem
I was told to write a poem
So I asked, what kind of poem?
My teacher said, “anything”
Which left me thinking
Should I write a happy one?
Or should I write a sad one?
Because it really is hard to write
When you don't know which topic is right
So I think and think and think
But all I do is blink
I come out empty handed
But I don't want teacher to be disappointed
So I just write here what I feel
Yes, teacher, this is for real
Here's the poem you asked me to write
I hope it turned out alright
I was lying in bed one night with a a pad of paper and a pen in front of me. A question popped in my head "What would I write if a teacher suddenly asked me to write a poem?" The answer lays above.
Labels: literature, personal, poems, summer, thoughts, writings
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